Is it really possible to save your marriage after one of you had an online affair? That depends on who you ask, and whether or not they consider online cheating really cheating. Most experts say that emotional affairs are definitely cheating because the partner is building emotional intimacy with someone other than their partner. And this causes damage to the relationship. When you find yourself sharing dreams and goals with an online friend rather than with your partner. But, if both people want to save the marriage it is possible to fix the marriage after an online affair.
My Husband Had The Affair
My husband had an emotional affair with a girl he friended on Facebook. It went on for about a year until I confronted him after she messaged me on Facebook. The girl even asked if we were really still married because he told her that we weren’t. I wasn’t all that surprised, I had that feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right. And when I caught him waking up in the middle of the night to be on Facebook I figured something was up. I should have done a public background check on this girl.
I spoke to him after she messaged me and he admitted the affair. But he said that he had never intended for their emotional affair to become a physical affair. She was someone to talk with and vent to and have conversations with and that went further than it should have. He assured me that he wanted the marriage to work. I was angry and skeptical, but I agreed to try counseling. The first step in trying to save your marriage has to be professional counseling.
Repairing The Trust
Trust has been broken, and you need professional help to repair it. The spouse that cheated needs to figure out why they cheated and what is missing in the marriage. And the spouse that was cheated on needs to process through anger, grief, and betrayal. A relationship counselor can talk to both spouses individually and work with them as a couple to rebuild the relationship. The next step needs to be setting some boundaries. You can place boundaries that will allow the cheated on the spouse to trust their partner again. Limit their social media access if it helps you.
My husband cheated on Facebook, so I was really uncomfortable with him having a Facebook account that I couldn’t access. He gave me his Facebook password so that I could check his account and see if he was cheating when I felt insecure. After about six months of seeing that he was not in any way crossing any lines with anyone on Facebook, it was a lot easier for me to trust him again. It may take time, and both partners need to work together to fix their relationship. But you can save a marriage after an online affair. Check out my post about why you should do yoga.